Cyclist uncle

Bildungsroman of a man pedalling for likes

It takes roughly six months for the amateur cyclist uncle to resemble an AI version of himself, from the day he sheds inhibition to indulge in what he later calls his passion. It begins when he rides the bicycle left rusting by his grown-up children, in a corner of the parking lot. Initial rides are usually meant to signal his unhappiness with the children, for abandoning the bicycle wastefully.

His early sorties do invite curious looks, as he heads past security guards and morning walkers. But all too soon, his worn down Bermuda shorts, faded tees and ancient sports shoes, stop turning heads. One day, he gets a request to deliver homemade tea to a patient admitted to a nearby hospital. What would have been an aimless ride finds purpose. The sugar-coated plea appeals to his higher consciousness. And yet, he takes a break the next day, lest the hospital visits become a boring routine.

Observing the younger cyclists who speed past him, uncle slowly begins to transform himself. Cycling shoes are followed by padded shorts, colourful goggles, gloves and a trendy cap. As his new get-up draws notice, his choices become bolder, brighter. The small issue of protruding belly is taken care of by loose tees and windcheaters. When he walks up to the bicycle, the image of a firefighter pilot approaching a plane plays in his mind. All cast admiring glances when they see him set off on daily rides, or so he thinks. Only the wife has an unalloyed, unvarnished opinion about his looks: cartoonish.

Uncle is no longer bothered by snide remarks but the first steep climb is a different kind of reality. He doesn’t want to get off the bike, at least doesn’t want to be seen doing so.

Of course he joins a group of regular, young riders and becomes the most active member of WhatsApp groups. He posts group photos at the end of every ride. Long rides do drain him but the prospect of a photoshopped image gives energy. He forgets how to pose normally and has both his thumbs up even during temple visits. Then he graduates to the signature Usain Bolt pose. Somehow, he’s convinced that the owners of expensive cars envy him when they whiz past him on the road. Then the wheel turns. The number of likes for his daily posts dwindles. After some time, how to get along with neighbourhood dogs remains the only concern.

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